The chilluns sez that Pa be kuntry smart. He's got filosofies 'bout life that done served him well. To be sure, he ain't no Solomon, but his wizdom does bear a reflection of the ol' king's ponderins. Here be a samplin' of what be on Pa's mind...his top 20 ruminations. This be set out here for the yungins Katie n Cassie as they be lookin' to make their way in the world. They also be savvy words for anyone wantin' to do just like Pa.
1. If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishin' poles.
2. Kissin' a mule will cure a cold.
3. Puttin' grease from the church bell in yore ears will helps you here better.
4. To sleep better, put yore boots under the bed with the toes pointed toward the nearest wall.
5. Always make cider in clear weather with a west wind.
6. Keep skunks n bankers at a distance.
7. Life is simpler when you plow 'round the stumps.
8. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
9. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
10. Meanness don't happen overnight.
11. To know how kuntry folks are doin', look at thar barns, not thar houses.
12. Forgive your enemies. It messes with thar heads.
13. Two can live as cheep as one, if one don't eat.
14. Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers n weeds.
15. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
16. Don't go huntin' with a fella named Chug-A-Lug.
17. Every path has some puddles.
18. Lazy n Quarrelsome is ugly sisters.
19. When speakin', make sure yer talk be an improovment over silence.
20. It is what it is, ain't nuttin' more. Deal with it, then move on.